My mother-in-law sent this to me today... Made me laugh so here it is... Some new old guy humor. Thanks Andee. ;-)
A good laugh for people
in the over 50 group and perhaps their kids too !!!
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with
1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos,
pictures and communicates with Facebook and
Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter
and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses,
13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern
way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140
characters of space.
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter,
Tweetree, Twhirl,
Twitterfon, Tweetie
and Twittererific Tweetdeck,
Twitpix and something that sends every message
to my cell phone and every other program within the texting
world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except
the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like
this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every
now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box
under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use
when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in
the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use
it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that
gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.
Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,
"Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could
be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a
deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a
right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross
streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS
lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4
years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once
and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the
dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I
go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something
themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out
just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid
looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I
just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare
at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do toot a lot.."
P.S. I know some of you
are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who
are.
We senior citizens don't
need anymore gadgets. The tv remote and
the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr me hearties!!!!
OLD GUYS RULE!!!
